All is Fair in Love and War
by Acutekitty1
Summary: There's always that time of the year when a new student comes around... but what happens when this one actualy listens to Dib about Zim! Will this girl end up as crazy as Dib, joining him to defeat Zim, or is there more to her than meets the eye?
1. The New Victim

Disclamer: I do not own Invader Zim, or any of the characters in this. Only Rem. Besides that, I'm just playing around with the great Jhonan Vazquez's work.

Author's note: This is a joint fanfic between me and my sister (MidgetFan1). I come up with the black humor, she comes up with the basic plot! Without me, it would suck beyond all reason because of boredom, and without her, this story would be about nothing but monkeys... oh, and sorry the first chapter is so short. It get's longer! I've already made the first two chapters so I know!

* * *

**All is Fair in Love and War**

Chapter 1: The New Victim 

Dib sits in his desk and explains to the kid behind him how Zim is an alien…as usual. "How can lack of ears be from a skin condition?!" Dib shouts at him. "It makes no sense! Can't you see it?! HES AN ALIEN!!!" The boy gives him a glare. "Stop picking on him! What about green skin and no ears boy!" The boy says pointing to Zim. "That IS Zim!!" says Dib going ballistic. Ms. Bitters slithers into the classroom. "Be quiet Dib, you can have the emotion you children call 'joy' after class."

A girl walks into the class. "This is the new girl, Rem. Feel free to make her life just as miserable as yours were when you came to this skool. Make sure to take every bit of rage you had since you came to this skool on her." The girl strangely gave a warm smile despite what she just heard. Rem had a hairstyle similar to Gaz, but she had orange hair and had one pony tail sticking straight up with a very feminine flamingo pink bow in her hair. Her shirt had a strange symbol on it. "I hope to become good friends with you all." Rem said happily.

"Your desk is next to Dib." Ms. Bitters said pointing her long crooked finger at a beaten up worn down desk. Rem sat down but then looked at the desk and raised her hand. "Ms. Bitters. Why is they're blood stains on my desk?" Ms. Bitters slithered toward her. "That was the last child who tried to have fun while learning, which like I warned, ended in an implosion." Rem seemed unfazed by Ms. Bitters. She only continued to smile. She then put a bright pink table cloth over her desk to 'Brighten up the room'. Ms. Bitters started twiching in pain from the bright pink glow of the strange happy cloth.

The second Ms. Bitters started trying to teach, the lunch bell rang. "We shall put your pathetic lives on pause for a moment while you go to the lunch room and consume your lunch." Ms. Bitters said. All of the kids ran out of the room screaming, heading toward the lunchroom.

As Rem was walking out of the classroom a hand grabbed her arm. "Wait! I need to tell you something!" She turned around to see Dib. "Oh, hello. You're the boy that sits next to me, right?" She said. "I haven't heard good things about you. I heard you're only in this skool so the skool doesn't get sewed for discriminating against crazy people." She said without a problem. "Darn it! They got to her first!" Dib said to himself. That just proved to her more how crazy he is. She started walking away, faster and faster by the step.

"I better be going n-"

"WAIT! I NEED TO WARN YOU ABOUT THE ALLLLIIIIEN!!!!" Dim shouted

She stops in her tracks. "Alien? You mean that green kid with no ears?"

A chorus of angels sung in Dib's head. "Thank you!!! Someone who has common sense! Someone who **believes** me!!" Dib felt like he was in a parallel universe where there was someone besides him whose brain has not rotted to the core, and could actually have some intelligence!

"So you actually believe me?" Dib said in glee. Rem pauses for a second (a long second) and nods with a creepy smile on her face. "Thank You!" Dib said and hugs her quickly. Rem looked a bit strange. "Come on!" Dib said grabbing her arm and pulling her to the cafeteria. On the way in, people started throwing random food at Dib… like usual.

Rem starts to get bored and walks in the cafeteria line. Dib chases after her "I wouldn't suggest eating any of that," He looks at a kid nervously putting the food in his mouth. The food then eats the kid's organs from the inside out and devours the kid. The food then proceeds to attack all other life forms in the cafeteria. Other food on the children's plates starts to join into this ritual. "If you want to live by the end of this lunch period… that is if the food already around doesn't eat you first."

Dib then carries her to hide under a table, not only to hide from Zim's stare, but to escape the wads of food being thrown at his huge head. He starts staring at Zim with an evil glare. Dib was very angry. In his head, Zim was the reason he was being tormented this much... and it had nothing to do with the fact that he had been tormented for years before Zim came along. "No one notices anything. He doesn't even eat human food yet everyone believes he's human!"

He turns back to Rem who is also hiding. "Ill show you proof. I'll show you I'm not crazy! He's a alien!" He finds a glass on the table. "Water burns him!" Dib said. Rem seemed to be interested. He puts the glass in the fountain, and after unplugging the fountain's mutant mushrooms, a stream of urine colored liquid spewed into the glass… yet the sign on the walls guarantied this liquid was H2O.

"Hey Zim!" Dib shouted. "Want some water!" Dib says and splashed the water on Zim. He was burning, twitching and screaming in pain all at the same time. Then after all this screaming, Zim immediately stopped like nothing happened. "Ill get you for this Dib!" Zim said, yet gave Rem the evil glare as Rem gave a short chuckle. Zim then began with his normal maniacal laughter that would make people think he's part jackal.

Dib watched Zim walk away still laughing. "And everyone thinks I'm the crazy one?"

* * *

Bwahaha! Now review before I set the creepy smiley girl on you! Ack! Get her away from me! Rem's smile is turning my shirt from black to sunshine yellow! 


	2. Welcome Agent Frakensmile

Disclaimer: We do not own Invader Zim or any of its characters, but we do own Rem to our deepest despair.

Note: Sorry it took so long xP. We were very busy and we hope you like this new hilarious chapter! (Midgetfan1 speaking) By the way, please do not bash Midgetfan1's OC and do not base this one story on all of my works. I understand its tiresome and horrid to see an OC but please! work with me not against me! If theres any joke you dont get, thats my fault! --U

* * *

**All is Fair in Love and War**

Chapter 2: Welcome Agent Frankensmile

"I can't wait to show you all the supernatural things around the skool!" Dib said walking to class. "It's all right under their noses, but no one believes me! Like the Bigfoot in the boiler room! And the mutant mini elves in the food we eat trying to take over us all from the inside! And the teachers who are trying to put probes in our mind to make us buy tickets to movies no one would ever watch! And most of all, the green short alien in my class who everyone thinks is normal, but is clearly an alien trying to enslave the human race! Together we can team up and show the world the truth about Zim! And once we catch him, we can sell him to the FBI so they can do weird probe tests and-"

"Are you **always** this talkative?!" Rem tried to say in the nicest voice possible.

"Only when someone actually believes me… and since you're the first one that has, nope! Not that much! But then again, people do say I talk about this stuff a lot… But you can't blame me for being excited" Dib said.

"Excited about what?" Rem asked.

"The downfall of Zim! The Earth shall once again be free from alien menace! And then after we can get rid of the aliens, we can start on getting the evil vampires that visit the dreams that we think are induced by pizza brownie combinations, but are really the bloodthirsty undead trying to take over our minds as we sleep!"

Rem seemed touched yet creeped out at the same time. She stopped in front of Ms. Bitters door. It was closed. She knocked on the door, but as soon as her skin touched the door, you can hear many locks being unlocked. Dib was twitching yet Rem was smiling away. When Ms. Bitters opened the door she looked down and seemed to be disgusted.

"Excuse me Ms. Bitters, but I believe its time for class again." Rem said with a big smile

"Class is dismissed for you and Dib" Ms. Bitters said looking at Rem's smile. (Did it scare her? xD even I'm not sure about that.)

"But why? In a skool like this, we deserve to learn! How else can we get through life without Algebra or learning the insides of microscopic creatures?" Rem responded in a sad sounding voice

"You're too happy, and happiness brings hope, and hope is something that must not exist in skool. Why do you think we got rid of summer? Come back when you're miserable and ready to learn about how life is wretched, and other depressing things."

"And Dib?"

"He's crazy, and it makes the class fill with laughter to watch his stupidity, and laughter is strictly forbidden within 5 miles of the skool"

"IM NOT CRAZY!" Dib shouted.

Ms. Bitters slammed the door in their faces. Rem started walking out of school.

"Hey! Want to come to my house? I can teach you all about Zim and his evil plots to take over the earth! And his creepy broken robot sidekick! I can even show you the swollen eyeballs!" Dib said. (Dib is starting to get just as annoying as Keef xD)

"Swollen Eyeballs?" Rem asked confused.

"Yeah! It's a organization as secret as the FBI, but don't tell anyone! Only people who read the back of the 'Mysterious Mystery's cereal' boxes can know of their existence!" Dib said. (Am I the only one who notices he shows his "secret" organization to everyone?! He showed it to a random hobo in one episode!!)

"Sounds cool! Can I join?" Rem said excited.

"This is too good to be true!" Dib shouted, yet again grabbing her arm and pulling her somewhere else.

As they got up to the house, you could see the glow from Gaz's game slave filling up the entire room with the sounds of lasers and thousands of beeps and boops. Gaz's face was glued to said game slave, once again attempting to rid the world of vampire pigs so the world may taste the sweet taste of undead bacon.

Rem continued to smile. "Is that your sister?" Rem said. "I would love to meet her!"

Dib was kind of shocked. "I think you wouldn't…really. Besides… she only responds to human life if you're interfering with her gaming or TV." When they got to the door, Professor Membrane answered the door.

"Hello Dib. Oh! I see you've made a crazy new friend! Come in! Maybe if you're lucky she might be able to reduce the thoughts of Para-science in your brain and fill it with REAL SCIENCE!" Professor Membrane said.

Rem's eyes widened "Are you…..Professor Membrane?!"

"Why yes, I am! You are most likely one of my billions of adoring fans. I can tell by the psychotic 'I want to own your DNA' look on your face." Membrane responded

"How come you didn't tell me your dad was **The **Professor Membrane?" Rem said in awe.

"I didn't think it was such a big deal. I'm into Mysterious Mysteries more than my dad's show. The paranormal is more of my thing" Dib said

"I like Mysterious Mysteries too!" Rem said.

"Cool! I have tapes in my room!" Dib said and brought her to his room. Piles of video cassettes and CD's filled the room. Posters of Zim, and his internal components were pasted all over the walls, ceiling and floor of the room along with Bigfoot and ghosts.

"There's a lot of Zim around here…" Rem noticed. "I don't mean to be rude, but if your life was a TV show, thousands of people watching it would assume your strong desire to catch Zim was to hide your true feelings of how you love him."

(Yes ZaDr fangirls, I know you were thinking this, so I just said it for you.)

"What?!" Dib exclaimed. "I hate him down from his skin to his internal organs! …If he has them that is." Dib stated. The X-ray pictures he had of Zim all over his walls seemed to exit his memory.

"So you're putting yourself in danger to stop him! That's so heroic!" Rem exclaimed.

Dib's eyes widened. This was the happiest day of his life… was he dreaming? Probably, but might as well make the best of it! He really hoped Gaz or his Dad's monitor, or the dead spirit of the dog that died under the couch wouldn't wake him up. Dib in happiness jumps in the air.

"Um, weren't you going to show me that 'secret' organization of yours? What was it? Organization XIII?" Rem asked. (Sorry about that… this reference came from playing Kingdom Hearts II (Which I don't own). Twitch Must beat for the 392 time Twitch)

"The Swollen Eyeballs!" Dib asked coming back to his senses. He jumped on the computer. All of a sudden a shaded face appeared on the computer.

"Yes Mothman? Is this another 'Alien sighting' or is it a 'Proof of Chicken-foot's non-existence'?" The face asked.

Dib shook his head. "Even better! I've got someone who would like to be a member, Darkbooty!" Dib shouted.

"Mothman! You know that for someone to join the Swollen Eyeballs, they must have at least 194 experience points in the supernatural field… or make a great donation to our organization." Agent Darkbooty shouted.

Rem immediately looked in her pockets. "I've got some yellowish lint…"

The figure's eyes widened. "Yellow lint?! That is the rarest kind of lint in existence! The Chinese believe if you bring 7 clumps of yellowish and orangish lint together, you have the power to enter a alternate dimension ad slay demons in a ninja like form! You may join if you donate the incredible contents of your pocket! Please put it in the transporter!"

Rem put the lint in a small tube next to the computer. The tube glowed a bright electric yellow and sparks flew from the tube. There was a power outage for about a minute, until everything turned back on and they acted as if nothing happened.

"So what's her code name going to be?" Dib asked.

"How about Rainbow Butterfly?" Rem cheered.

Both Dib and Agent Darkbooty gave a shutter of the feminine disgust that went threw their human bodies with those two words.

"Because you are unable to give a proper paranormal name, I dub you Agent FrankenSmile." Darkbooty said creped out by the girl's black-hole like smile.

"Ok!" Rem cheered.

Agent Darkbooty's gaze turned to Dib. "If her inhumane smiles causes the destruction of the earth, you will receive the deadly consequences of being put in a room with TWO mooses… or is it moose… whatever the plural form of moose is!" He shouted as the screen went black. (We seriously did have this argument)

"So now what?" Rem asked.

Dib thought about it for a second, but he really didn't have to since this is what he always did. "Alien Hunting! Alien Hunting!" Dib declared.

Rem thought she recognized this line… maybe it was from some show about an aquatic invertebrate whose living accommodations were a Hawaiian fruit. Nah… who could come up with a show like that? "So does that mean we go to Zim's house?"

"Of course!" Dib shouted. He once again dragged her out of the room and toward Zim's house, not realizing the trouble he was dragging himself into.

* * *

Thanks for reading! and if you wonder where we came up with the name...only the random fairy knows..

Please REVIEW!


	3. Not a Threat

**Author Note: **I was at summer camp, and i got really bored, so me and Midgetfan1 thought of some awesome crud to put in...at a christian camp...I feel horrible xP...and now I don't! On with the show!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Invader Zim or any of its characters. however i do own Rem!...drat!

* * *

**All is Fair in Love and War**

Chapter 3: Not a threat

Dib was about to go to Zim's base, when he realized something. "We're not in the proper sneaky looking gear!" He shouted. He pressed a button on his watch that he of course got out of his cereal box for 294 box tops. A second later he was wearing a black spandex ninja outfit. He now wore giant goggles over his incredibly huge skull. "Hmm… I don't have a disguise for you, so I'll have to improvise." He looked threw his bag. "Here!" He said handing her a T-shirt.

"'I am not a threat?'" Rem read off the shirt.

"Yeah! It has a certain charm to it, doesn't it? It got me past Zim's robot 4 times! Well actually, he invited me over for waffles the third time, but it still counts!" Dib shouted throwing the T-shirt over Rem.

Rem put the shirt on shrugging. The walked up to Zim's front yard with the evil lawn gnomes ready to destroy whatever innocent living creature came near them.

"This is it, be really careful, they have lasers." Dib said rushing by. After getting zapped and beaten to a pulp at least 9 times while walking across, Dib reached Zim's porch with smoke floating out of the burned skin on his body. "Come on! It's easy!"

Rem walked by, and as she did the lawn gnome's gaze fell upon her. "Scanning… not a threat. Repeat, not a threat. Prepare to go back to beating the large headed one." The gnomes declared going back to attempting to remove Dib's atoms from existence, or in this case, trying to rip off his abnormally large head.

As they continued to beat up Dib, Rem did the only thing possible… she opened the door and pushed Dib in the house As soon as they were in, the Gnomes went back to their normal position with some holding 'I love Earth' flags, with a few of them attempting to shoot down a innocent bee flying across the lawn.

"Be very careful… Zim or his robot should be around here somewhere." Dib said looking around.

And as he said it, GIR in his dog costume appeared in front of Dib holding a small pig doll. "You're here again! And you brought a cute friend! You have a pretty bow!" GIR said jumping on Rem's head. "Just like a monkey!" He said started dancing on Rem's head.

"Don't worry; he gets off once you turn on the TV." Dib said putting on the TV. A scary monkey appeared on the screen.

Immediately GIR jumped off Rem's head and sat on the couch with his eyes straight on the T.V., being hypnotized with the wonders of a scary monkey. "I love this show." He said in his usual cute robotic voice.

"You have been here a lot, haven't you?" Rem said looking around. The appearance of it looked nothing like a normal home. Zim obviously wasn't too good at hiding the fact that he was an alien.

Dib nodded. "Yet I can never find the proof I need that he's an alien…"

At this moment, GIR took off his dog costume to reveal his steel robot exterior with glowing cyan eyes. He started happily screeching in an alien language. Or maybe he was just screaming. No one could tell.

"Now we must go down to Zim's lab!" Dib said jumping in the toilet. "Come on! There's no time to waste!"

Rem blinks. "In the toilet? You sure about that?" She asked.

"Of course! What other way is there to get down to an alien's lair but threw where he disposes the waste from his lower end?" Dib questioned.

(Shut up ZaDr fangirls… I don't want to hear it.)

"If you insist." She said jumping in next to him. She then used the only way she could think of to get down. She flushed the toilet. They were both then sucked into Zim's underground lab. The second they got there, they saw Zim looking under a microscope.

"This is it GIR! By discovering how to destroy most of earth's supply of gasoline, the price for it will rocket to the top, causing them to pay money on their cars instead of their human stomachs causing them to starve! It's genus GIR!" That's when Zim realized something. "GIR? Where'd he go off to? Eh, oh we- Eck! The puny earth boy with the enormous head is here!" Zim finally noticed. "Um… with some puny earth girl too." He said squinting at the sight of Rem.

"You know I'm right here." Dib said annoyed with everyone making fun of his head once again.

"If I didn't know that, why would this room seem 70 smaller with the presence of your head in here?" Zim questioned with an evil smirk. (Say it with me now! BUUUUUUUUUUUUURN!)

"Shut up! Now I have a human witness of your evils! You've lost!" Dib shouted.

Zim thought about this for a second. "You couldn't afford another camera after you destroyed the last one out of your own stupidity, could you?"

Dib started to stutter. "Well… It was… Shut up! You are going down!" Dib said tackling Zim as they started to fight rolling around the floor. (Why must my fingers type such ZaDr moments?!...Maybe I'm just thinking sick )

In the meantime, Rem went wandering around the lab. She stumbled upon a red button. "Hmm… when it's red that means it usually does something that won't impact a important event like this much. No harm pressing it." She said pushing the button.

"Evacuating all life forms from the lab." The computer announced. A platform bellow Zim, Dib and Rem shot up and sprung them not only out of the lab, but out of the house putting them on the front lawn… in which the lawn gnomes started beating up Dib again….

"Ha! Victory for Zim!" Zim shouted marching back into his house. He then walked back to Dib on the floor and kicked him before returning back into the house.

Dib ducked his head under his hands on the ground trying to avoid the hits from the lawn gnomes. "At least I'm still alive…" Dib said sighing as he was zapped again.

"Does this mean it's time to leave?" Rem asked.

"Yes… Ow!" Dib said getting hit again.

Rem then dragged Dib out of Zim's front lawn. The second they passed the fence, The lawn gnomes once again went to their original position… after firing another shot at Dib…. In the rear.

"Ow! What's wrong with those things! Why wouldn't they fire at you?" Dib asked as he was dropped onto the floor.

Rem made one of those annoyingly cute laughs that are enough to make even the grim reaper go insane and be sent to an asylum. "Because they can read!" She said pointing to her shirt. "I'm not a threat. You said it worked yourself! And you gave me the good disguise to protect me! You're so sweet."

"I should have used the shirt-" Dib mumbled. Then he heard what Rem said. "Uh yeah! That's right! I did it on purpose!"

"Thank you!" Rem said hugging Dib.

'_Hm? Female contact? I don't understand! I feel all tingly inside, and it's not because of anything paranormal related! What is this world coming to?! Is this what those lying textbooks call… puberty? There is something wrong with me!' _"Um… thanks…" Dib said.

"Well, I got to go! See you tomorrow at skool!" She said walking off in a random direction… which happened to be toward the sunset like in those cheapo love movies to make people believe that they are going on some life long journey and will never be seen again until the sequel, where they will once again fall in love, only to be torn apart once again so there can be a third movie, but they will not be shown due to the actor getting sick of the movie series, only to be replaced by a new sidekick in which the main character will forget about their past love and fall in love with some other random person. But never mind that! Back to the chap- oh wait it's over.

* * *

Thanks for reading! now please review! 


	4. Dispair and More Doom

Author's Note:** This entire note is by Midgetfan1! YAY ME!**

This chapter was made in the middle of vacation, and ill tell you this, just to see 1 review for the last chapter made me feel special inside because i know at least one person like my story enough to just write "LOL!! I love it! Keep up the awsome work girl!" that girl im thanking because i told myself that if no one reviews this next chaper, ill just stop because no one reads anyways. That girl is cartoonlover91. hug

Another thing is that Rem is an OC **making fun of OC's**! She is the tipical happy go lucky character that gets the guy like everyone does. BUT HEY! at least i didnt make Zim like her, those are the worst OC's of all, who dare to try and search in to Zim heart...or whatever he has. These people need to watch "Best Friend" and listen to "Return of Keef" for hours straight. HE THROWS AWAY FRIENDS! ZIMMIE GETS NO GIRLFRIEND...**OR BOYFRIEND**!!!(gets out sniper and shoots ZADR heart)

Disclamer: I dont own Invader Zim or Jhonen... but if i owned Jhonen, i would sell him to the fangirls...sorry dude but there are some crazy fans out there that would pay millions just to lick your feet oh so crazy!

* * *

****

Chapter 4: Despair and More Doom

There are two words that bring hope to the ears of all under 18. "The Weekend" That is, all who live in the western hemisphere. On the other side of the earth, kids are not in school, but instead forced to work in coal mines all day, because they have already been assumed to have no future.

Dib was going to have a nice day. Or at least as nice a day for someone who thought every waking moment was going to be involved with something supernatural such as a Bigfoot popping out at him and have a coffee break to discuss the horrors of Zim.

He dedicated this day to watching Mysterious Mysteries tapes over and over on the living room big screen TV to watch his brain rot before his eyes. And the best part of this brain rotting glory was that his 'dearest sister Gaz', who he sometimes suspected had a cord coming from her back attached to the TV or her game slave, could do nothing to keep him away from said brain rotting glory. Except poison him and then maybe stab him, and then maybe fill his room with those annoying bed bugs that like to eat you at night when you think you are safe. But besides that, nothing.

But when he turned on the TV, all there was, was darkness. Dib felt his world coming to an end. The only TV time he could tear apart from his sister and the TV would not share to him Vampire donut specials of Mysterious Mysteries, but instead only a blank screen darker then Zim's evil heart… or whatever he had. 'Wait… Darker then Zim's evil heart? Maybe he should write poetry… No! Not now! Focus on Mysterious mysteries before the world or the Marathon ends! What could I do to solve this horrible disaster?!' Dib thought.

"Dad! The TV's broken!" Dib shouted out.

A monitor with Professor Membrane's head shown flew in to the room. "No it isn't! I made it more efficient! Instead of showing you mind numbing cartoons, if you have a higher intellect, you may see the TV in a 9th dimension with sights so amazing it has caused several scientists to go to hospitals craving strange foods such as Mushrooms and chocolate milk or even… pie!"

(Hehe… MidgetFan1 actually had a craving for the Mushrooms and chocolate milk once. Mom and dad wondered if she was pregnant… the test proved them wrong.)

"But… I like pie." Dib stated nervously.

"Oh my incredibly large cerebellum! It's worse then I thought! Quick!" The monitor shouted pushing Dib out of the house. "We must introduce the horrors of the real world to your mind before you start to desire more pie!"

The door immediately shut behind Dib as the monitor left him. He looked around confused. The day didn't look too bad. In hopes of finding some sort of happiness, Dib started looking around. To Dib's left, he saw two cute little birds playing together… until the bigger one decided it was better and ate the other's head off.

In fear Dib looked to his right to see a group full of adorable little kids playing ring around the rosy together… until the song summoned the grim reaper to unleash the bubonic plague upon the world once again, starting with the innocent little kids who began to become disfigured right before Dib's eyes.

"Uh… on second thought, the left looks better." Dib said looking back to the left… to see the big bird feasting upon another one of it's brothers with blood flowing down it's bright yellow feathers. Dib looked ahead in hope of finding something better then either of these things… to end up coming face to face with the incarnation of joy, Rem.

"Ack!" Dib shouted jumping back in surprise. "Where did you come from?!"

"Over there!" Rem said pointing to the right side where the children were continuing to suffer from the plague that slowly ate away at their rotting flesh.

"Want to join me in social interaction" Rem said Cute and smiley as usual.

"You mean communicate? With the world? Society and I aren't on good terms right now… it considers me something that should be thrown off the face of the earth." Said Dib. "I should know. I talked with the spirit of the earth once at this graveyard… it hates me." He sounded sad.

She patted Dib on the back. "That's OK. Let's go out for ice-cream! It will make your life seem less miserable!" She said with a smile trying to cheer him up.

Since the school had banned joy from the city, there were no ice cream shops around, so the only source of ice cream was the brave ice cream men in the trucks that would dare drive threw the town.

Rem and Dib made it their mission to try and track down one of them.. But every single ice-cream truck that they found ether drove away screaming in the sight of the two social rejects, known as Dib and Rem, approaching their sugary vehicle, or was already knocked over by the ravenous sugar craving monsters known as little kids that would whine and scream all day long, until they'd get the cholesterol they desired.

Dib and Rem collapsed on the ground unable to get even a drop of the sweet sugary frozen treat. They sat down defeated from their attempts. "It's no use. There's no point in trying to get it when the zombies- or kids. Can't really tell which- are going to destroy us!" Dib said defeated, hanging his head in disdain.

"Oh… so you mean there's no hope. I'm the worst friend known to man. I tried to cheer you up to make you smile, and all I did was make it worse. You'd be happier even if Zim took over the world…" she said sadly (O-O -->REM IS SAD)

'_Now I feel bad for some reason, as if I had purposely done something to make her feel like she wanted to kill herself… it's strange. For once she's not smiling! I don't know if that's good or bad! I need to do something about it, and make her happy once again! Wait….WHAT?! How can I even think that?! She's happy enough on her own! Why should I care? Why __**do**__ I care…must be puberty…yeah…that. Eh, it will go away soon.' _Dib thought.

Dib pulled out the best smile he could. Although due to his lack of smiling, it looked more creepy then happy. "Ok! Let's forget the ice-cream and go somewhere else!" Dib stood up and held out his hand to pick up Rem.

Rem looked up. Dib noticed one main thing about her face. It was damp and puffy... SHE CRIED!!!

'_Oh man…I made her cry! …Was my smile that creepy? Maybe… but I got to do something to make her happy and fast…No! Wait! I'm not supposed to care! It's out of character! I'm supposed to be the rouge who's only mission in life is to hunt down his enemy like in those cool samurai movies! But if I don't stop her it might mean that's a sign of the apocalypse!!!'_

"Listen…I've never had a friend for more than a episode before, so I can say for sure that you are my best friend and I like how your always happy….because happiness is good, and stuff. So please be happy again." Dib said_ 'that's never going to work! The speech uses the word happy way too much! She going to feel worse and it's all my fault! Why couldn't I have taped the marathon of Mysterious Mysteries before I died?!'_

Rem's big shiny eyes widened _'Here it comes!!'_ Dib braced for impact.

All of a sudden she gained energy and jumped up and hugged Dib with a big smile again. "Oh Dib! That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me!" Rem said (Haven't gotten many complements now have we? xD)

Dib turns scarlet. (THAT'S RIGHT! I DID IT! I'M MAKING HIM LIKE **THE PREP**!) _'What the HECK?!!? Why is my face red? Do I have a disease or something with horrible tingly nasty symptoms? Or maybe I'm MUTATING!!!!!_(And it deserves all 5 of those explanation points!)

* * *

Thats it for this chapter! Now review before i fall into a state of depression! 


End file.
